pointed west

Good lord. I am sitting here, in Heathrow, about to board a plane that will be flying me back to DC, back to the United States, and away from Europe, possibly indefinitely. There are simply no words to describe how I am feeling right now. People kept asking me if I was sad to leave and in some respects, I'm really not -- I am absolutely thrilled to be going home to normalcy, away from an unfavorable exchange rate, to good weather and blue skies and a shining sun and the beach and my family and friends. But, I also feel a strange pull of sadness to be leaving this place that has so completely changed me this semester.  I unfortunately did not reinvent myself, and mostly I'm still the same lame K10. But, I have learned so much about myself that I would have never learned otherwise. I have learned that I am capable of stepping out of my comfort zone. Previously I would be terrified of doing something out of the ordinary, and I am the girl who takes transition very poorly. And yes, there were a few bumpy weeks at the beginning as I struggled to get my feet. But throughout the past five months, I have done things I never would have done in "real" life (sung karaoke in a crowded bar, stalked a celebrity, sang German drinking songs with complete strangers). I have learned that I love reading maps (aka having control). With just two other people, I planned a month-long journey throughout Europe, transitioning from city-to-city with almost no hitches. I have taken courses in an English university (hating it every step of the way -- I REALLY hate the English system), made friends with people I would have never met otherwise, and seen countless plays, been to countless museums, and climbed a ridiculous number of towers. In short, I am forced to conclude that I am on my way to becoming a grown-up. 

Over the past five months, I have been to officially ten countries -- the United Kingdom (including Wales), Ireland, Spain, Belgium, the Netherlands, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Monaco, and France. I have been to 28 cities -- London, Cobham (totally counts), Oxford, Chepstow, Hay, whatever city our hostel was in, whatever city Tintern Abbey was in, whatever city Breacon Beacon National Park is in (clearly I was paying attention on this trip), Dublin, Haworth, Bath, Greenwich, Barcelona, Brussels, Bruges, Amsterdam, Frankfurt, Wurzburg, Rothenburg, Munich, Fussen, Innsbruck, Salzburg, Bern, Luzerne, Lyon, Monte Carlo, and Nice. I feel like I am forgetting some, but there you are.

Thus ends my study abroad adventure, my European travels, and my extended vacation. In a few short weeks, I will be starting my summer job, and in just a few months, I will be back at GW, trying to do far too much and graduating in a year?! When did that happen?!

But, until that I land, I am still on my extended vacation (with two bags of crisps and THREE BIG galaxy bars, may I point out. I NEED MY YUM YUMS). And so I am not a grown up, not just yet. 

Now, for the rest of this blog, I am dedicating it to the various mishaps and giggles that have occurred over the last semester. Unless you were in London with me, you probably won't want to read it, and unless you are Jenny or Molly, you'll probably just want to skim it (unless you enjoy reading inside jokes that you are not a part of ). Yes, I could have made this a cut, but I'm not connected to the internet right now so it would involve me doing it later and it getting all complicated and they have me pressing all these buttons.

-The undefeated BOX OF FROSTIES incident on the box, when I refused to leave behind a precious box of Frosties that cost only 89p trapped behind the bus door. As Jenny put it, I looked like a linebacker coming off the bus.

-The scary, scary CE VAAAA French woman in the hostel in Lyon, who REFUSED to unclasp my shoulder until I had kissed her cheek

-A vanilla bean is NOT a vanilla bean. It is a VANILLA CREEEME (and you must say it more menacingly every time that you do say it)

-Our various boys -- Jenny's bf Pierre, Sam the Stonemason who invited us to learn his craft on the roof of Selfridges, Mr. Cosy (who thought all of us being together was just SO COSY!), and of course Lee -- my dance partner -- who thought we were 15 (and still insisted on talking to us thinking we were underage).

-Karaoke in Belushis... my fabulous rendition of SEE YOU AGAIN. Even though they claim that I do the same move over and over again. Just wait till this summer when all of us get on stage for Breaking Free

-Molly's bf Joel, the engineer in Germany who played Kings with us and willing gave his arm to Molly so she could do her deed. 

-The study abroad reception at the end of the year, when I forced Molly to keep drinking wine and she fell on the street outside laughing, at 7:30pm, as the sun as still up.

-The supposed "Air Force" members we met in France, even though J and I severely doubt that, and my 50 year old French boyfriend who asked me to come visit him in Paris and he would teach me French

-Molly's paranoia. Nuff said.

-Molly running into EVERYONE SHE KNOWS in Europe, including Ari and Jared everywhere in Bruges, and then strangely (VERY strangely) in a random bakery in Amsterdam at 11:30pm

-Playing Monopoly and Taboo with an Australian and a Turk in Belgium

-Ari's inability to understand Jared's clues for "penguin."

-Random Belgian teenage boys asking us to do an "adult movie" with them in Brussels, as our French speaker Molly dissolves into giggles and I just keep saying "GOODBYE" hoping they would get the message

-McKenzie giving Molly and Jenny the "COME ON!" look as they failed to get off the bus 

-The "don't worry about it" weird half-smirk definitely-high girl in the tube station who later fell off the tube.

-Some stranger bending down and fluffing up my skirt that same night

-Walking back from the superbowl in a blizzard, the heaviest snowfall London has seen in 20 years, at 1 in the morning, singing Christmas carols 

-All the various trips to Pizza Hut and our inability to pass one without eating there. And I will never eat there again.

-Same with McDonalds. I swear I will never go to one in the States. It was just better in London! (cheap I mean)

-KRISTEN! A ghost. 

-"What just happened?" "They either saw a Pizza Hut or a ghost."

-Hiking eight miles in the rain in Haworth, me wanting to turn back as we are 200m away, and Molly screaming "HEATHCLIFF!" as we are still in the village. 

-MARTIN NOSEHAIR! the owner of the Bridgehouse B and B in Haworth. Husband of my best friend Claire Nosehair

-Me insisting that we climb up the hill in Bern, even though the path was about 20 yards away, and then falling down the 90 degree incline 3/4 of the way up into a crowd of marathoners

-Punting in Oxford -- my utter inability to handle the pole, the man asking us to get us his hat even though we CLEARLY have no skill, Molly colliding with the tree and insisting that it hurt too much to just soldier on through it, Molly screaming, "I feel like I'm in labor!!"

-Stalking the gentlemen in Eton.

-Stalking celebrities in general -- James McAvoy (going back to see him TWICE) and the bi-continental stalking effort of Taylor Swift, and J and I flat out running after paparazzi in order to catch a glimpse

-speaking of which, "Tay-la! Tay-la!"

-Attending far too many premieres and turning into a twelve-year old girl when Leo walked by

-Jenny insisting on saying, "bit-tay!" really loudly at inappropriate moments.

-The French guys coming up behind us on the escalator in Monaco and shouting, "SURPREEESE!"

-Joel's shining moment: "You sound like you're from London!"

-Various and sundry hostelmates, especially Mr. Ipod/the Happy Snorer - the 40 year old man who seemingly never left

-spending three hours on a Friday night in Borders to do "research" for our trip, even though we ended up buying the books anyway

-The infamous albums written by Jenny and I and co-written by Molly: Puddles of Love, Chubby Rain (the more soulful one), and the mystery third power ballad one 

-"When you are a cripple, I'll be your crutch (but I'm not going to carry you [walk on your own])"

-"If you are starving I will give you a morsel"

-the Brit's strange love of Sex on Fire -- did you know the Kings of Leon are from Tennessee and claim a southern rock influence??

-Raaaaapphhaaael, the Washingtonian 

-The Brit's STRANGER love of the Baywatch theme song, and instantly taking off their shirts every time it came on

-Shouting, "We're here!" far too many times.

-Jen forcing Molly to say "gd"

-Molly's ability to tell a Leah-like story ... for example, as we all snuggle into our beds in Bruges, she suddenly says, "Did I tell you about the time I lost all my teeth?" ...did anyone ask?? Ten minutes later, I still had no idea how she lost her teeth

-Going far too many times to Guy's Bar (like the weird 2os night) and the Trinity, mostly to stalk Molly's boyfriend who turned out not to be worth it 

-Molly's incredible wealth, racetrack in the backyard, five yachts, and three jets 

-Molly having to speak to Moooommmmaaa and Cupper all the TIME 

-In general, the weird relationships that the Silbers share 

-And more importantly Molly's twenty homes and Segways to get around her castles

-visiting the Residenz and after the guide asked what room he thought that was, Jenny suggesting the bathroom and Molly turning around to find him all up in her business

-Jenny's absolutely, absolutely disgusting cornrows and my inability to even look at them

-Our stupidity when it came to tipping in different countries, resulting in us mostly leaving a weird percentage tip on the table and running out quickly before anyone noticed -- and Molly never moving fast enough

-Molly's slow pace in general 

-Overuse and misuse of the word disgusting -- for example, my crushed roll of cookies were not "disgusting"

-Molly's inability to distinguish accents anymore 

-Jenny insisting on reciting Bonquiqui ALL THE TIME 

-Our very strict shower schedule on vacation and those wonderful times when we could all shower together!!

-The twenty fire alarms in GDSA in one day 

-Nicknames assigned to absolutely everyone we know 

-Playing MASH far too often, and mostly ending up with really crappy lives 

-NANDOS AND WAHACA DELISH 

-all three of us buying the exact same Oxford shirt. I would like to point out they copied ME.

-Trying to watch movies illegally online all the time and mostly failing. Curse our inability to use megavideo! 

-Calling Icco "iccky"

-Climbing every single tower in Europe we possibly could 

-Little J/ Special K/ Mol-lay 

-CHARLIE BIT ME!

-Visiting way too many Harry Potter sites -- trying to find Platform 9 3/4

-"I'm going to the loo. And when I come back, we're going to be civilized."

-Bruges = hell, according to Colin. And of course, "If I were raised on a farm, and I were retarded, then I might like Bruges. But I wasn't, so I don't!"

-Discovering the deliciousness that is strawberry beer and strawberry tea.

-Molly's ENORMOUS number of friends, but always making them wait before she would accept their friend request 

-My inability to understand the difference between shanking and poking 

-The scandal of the 13 year old father Alfie who actually turned out to NOT be the father!

-Jenny wanting to steal every child she came across, in an almost creepy fashion

-Molly's affinity for all of God's creatures... sheep, dogs, even disgusting bears in Switzerland

-My inability to say certain words like Swarovski

-Jenny deciding that every single time bells are ringing, the queen has died. One of the days she is going to be correct -- that is the scary part.

-The vast amount of public urination we witnesses

-Molly's idea of appropriate beach attire: jeans and sweatshirt with hood up

-My touch of death to my shoes, computer, hair dryer, sunglasses....

-Molly's touch of death to Jenny's converters

-Actually, Molly just failing to bring a converter in the first place

-As we decide to do the world-famous jumping picture on top of a hill in France, Molly's flip flop goes flying over the edge of the railing and plummets to the ground below...

-Someone (not me) always asking, "can we slow down?"

-Showing up to the wrong performance of Madame de Sade -- so apparently we had tickets to the matinee and NOT the evening performance...

-As a fun side note, Molly wrote this list out by hand and spelled Dame Judi's name wrong. EMBARRASSING! 

-Molly falling asleep instantly wherever we went 

-torturing Molly as she slept in THE most uncomfortable positions ever with gummi bears and nutella spread on her lips -- 'I woke up to deliciousness!'

-Standing, for hours on end, everywhere.

-McKenzie's scandalous stories and the way she reinvented herself like Madonna

-Molly apologizing for her supposed attitude from earlier that day even though that's what Jenny and I are like when we are in cheerful moods

-Molly's chemical inability to be sad

-Also as a fun side note, I just watched Marley and Me on the plane and had to stop because I was literally crying, in public, and I got embarrassed. now I don't know how the last five minutes go.

-Me crying ridiculously at Steel Magnolias. I mean it's one of the three movies I am guaranteed to cry for 

-Movie to celebrity to movie game and us playing it anytime, anywhere

-Calling dibsies on the street, in Oxford, in the elevator...

-Getting ice cream literally anywhere we can

-And of course MAGNUMS! 

-Every time we see a tattoo parlor: "Kristen? Tattoo?"

-Me bringing yum yums anywhere we go -- packing my jacket full before going on the hiking trip, bringing twelve bags of chips, chocolate covered raisins, two rolls of cookies, and eight mini boxes of cereal with me to Europe...

-Torture methods of choice: for Jenny, cutting off the eyelids; for me, shoving my fist down someone's throat

-the ridiculous biscuit conversation we had with the waiter 

-The "skittle-marick-e-dinky-dink" song... and I have NO IDEA how to spell that. go ahead and hate

-Molly constantly saying, "Don't hate!"

-Also Molly's inability to brush her hair 

-Molly and McKenzie trying to get into a club but refused because they are not gay

-As Jenny and I give directions to some very drunk British girls, they shout back -- "Americans! Good call on the off license!" and then one proceeds to say in an EXCELLENT American accent, "good morning upper east siders"

-"Puck you, miss! Puck you, with a p!" 

-Every time we take pictures, making them commercial or editorial, or shouting, "ONE TWO THREE POSE!"

ohmygoodness that's it. And if you read this far and you're not Molly or Jenny, I feel a little sad for you. It is now 3 London time... 10 DC time... another five hours before singing, "country roads, take me hooome... to the place.... I belong..." It's been a wild, insane, unbelievable adventure. Thanks for coming along. 

ACTUALLY the end

All right, so I lied that last time. THIS is the last post on my European adventure.... and may I point out I have been in the library almost allllll day. Not because I have a ton of work (even though as I'm polishing my papers I am realizing how much they suck... and yet I can't be bothered too much by it) but because the internet in my room died. It is quite tragic and it still hurts to talk about it, but combined with the fact that my phone is out of money, I am very much the hermit. Talk about a change from spending day in and day out with two people for an entire month... ohhhh those giiiirls.

Anyway, so we went on to our last destination -- NICE! (and Monaco but I kind of count the two of them together). There is no doubt in my mind that Nice is AMAZING. I am such a lover of the coast, anywhere, that it is ridiculous. I just feel so much better when I am by the water, I guess. And as Fort told me, Nice is niiiiice (he's so punny!). Sun shining, sparkling blue water, palm trees, basically any stereotype you could imagine about the South of France was embodied in Nice. The first day we sat on the beach (a common theme, even though it was a yucky rock beach. COME ON GUYS GET IT TOGETHER. Sand is where it's aaaat), and watched the sun set.... absolutely gorgeous. the next day we decided to be ultra cool and baller and so on and went to Monaco, a 25 minute train ride away. And I am proud to report that WE GAMBLED!!! Really poorly, but we gambled nonetheless. Probably thirty seconds after I put my five euros in the slot machine, I was out.. Molly actually had some exciting moments with poker, especially when we had people contributing to the success and providing advice, but pretty soon she was out too. and I try not to talk about Jenny. NO I'M JUST KIDDING. The machine did eat her money so that was exciting as well. Who said we didn't know how to gamble? After an overly expensive meal (as strange as this may sound, I just got hit with a craving for in n out, even though I have been there once in my life... I think it's because I'm hungry right now and I was thinking about how Jenny got a burger for lunch that day and then I thought mmmm in n out. weird thought process, I'm glad I brought everyone along for that). Anyway after an overly expensive meal, but it is Monaco after all, we.... went to the beach!!! true looove. I also have the BEST tan lines ever now, from all the combination of the cuts I was wearing, so to all the haters who think I'm too white, no longer!

Next day, we went up to the chateau (possibly. it's all very fuzzy right now), which had GORGEOUS views over the water and the town.... unfortunately we had a little... accident. No, no bed wetting this time... we decided to capture the typical jumping picture and unfortunately I have only had one person who has been able to take it on the first try. So we're trying to get Molly and about ten jumps later, she has THE FATAL JUMP... that is, fatal for her shoe, which is flung off her foot and plummets to the ground below. We peer over the edge, after laughing hysterically, and determine that it MIGHT be in grabbing distance.. so we stumble down to the overlook below, Molly hobbling on one foot, and proceed to come up with an elaborate system for Molly to grab her shoe, consisting of her perched outside the fence trying to prevent people from jumping (or grabbing errant shoes), holding on to one railing for dear life while stretching for the shoe as I maintain a firm hold on her arm in order to push her off. just kidding, in order to grab on to her, although we all know I'm not even strong enough to lift a pizza box, probably. 

So, that afternoon we elect to.... go to the beach! And that, my friends, is how I spent the last few days of my trip. I mean it is the beach rules though -- you don't go for a measly hour, you go for as long as you possibly can. Otherwise it's just insulting. am I right? I am RIGHT.

So, we wake up early the next morning and return to typical London after spending a few days in 70+ weather relaxing on the beach .... it is a little weird to see leaves on the trees and see the sun still up after 6:30. In just two week's time, though, I will be returning to the States, bouncing between DC, VA, and NY for May, then switching between DC and VA for the rest of the summer... about to get back to real life and it is WEIRD.

the end, the end

well, my friends, we knew it had to happen. The end of the journey. The end of the line. And that time is tonight -- we will be flying back to merry old England tomorrow morning, then I will be shuttling back to the United States in two weeks. I absolutely, 100% cannot BELIEVE that so much time has gone by, and that my semester abroad is almost done... BUT I will do my wistful reflection when I officially leave Londonland. For now, let us just discuss FRAAAANCEEE!

so as you may or may not know, I do not have the .... best relationship with France. It's no one's fault... I'm just not crazy about Paris (overrated), and it has ALWAYS been raining when I've come. Not exactly things to write home about. so I vowed that I would not return to France unless it were warm and I were with someone who speaks French. Well, both things were kiiiinnnddaa true on this trip (cue Molly looking like an idiot as she tries to think about what the phrase would be in French. I kept itching to text Fort for help.  I'M JUST KIDDING! she really has been an absolute GODSEND on this trip, especially in Frogland.  OOoooh so I'm sitting here in the hallway because that's where the wireless is best, and this man who was American walked by and asked me in really broken French if I had wireless. I really wanted to tell him that I spoke English, but I decided to play along. So much more fun).

ALL RIGHT so we leave the land of overpriced goods behind (ie Switzerland. Seriously! so expensive! my little heart couldn't take it!) and journey over to France... and by journey, I mean we took a bus into France since the train was dead or something equally dramatic. Certainly an interesting thing, since we weren't exactly sure that the bus would get us there or how long it would be. Also, we have had SUCH GOOD LUCK on this trip as in it did not rain at ALL. The only time it really rained was when we were on the bus, or inside, but as SOON as we stepped outside, it wouldn't be raining. Someone is looking out for us, surely. Mother Nature obviously. 

SO, we get to Lyon... unfortunately our hostel is at the top of the hill and we had some genuinely scary roommates in a kind of dirty room. As spoiled as it sounds, I really do not want to stay in a hostel again. I am hosteled out. I refuse to travel again until I can afford a hotel room. rich husband, where art thou? am I too k10 for you?

and now, I shall compose a list of people who should NOT stay in hostels.

1) If you know you are a snorer, stop being selfish and DO NOT STAY IN A DORM ROOM IN A HOSTEL. Yes, I know it's cheaper. But I really don't care when my bed is literally vibrating from your snores. I really wanted to shove my fist down your throat (and Jenny probably wanted to cut off your eyelids, her torture device of choice) 

2) If you are over 35, it's just weird for you to stay in a hostel. Again, I know it's cheaper. But if I, at 21, can afford to stay in a hotel, so can you. If you can't, you have no business traveling. Stay home and earn money.

The list might not be lengthy, but I assure you, every bit of that has WEIGHT. I have been contemplating this for a while.

so we got into Lyon late in the afternoon and really just walked around, had dinner, lounged, etc. Our standbys. I was a little crankipuss so not too enjoyable. But the next day we got to explore the ROMAN RUINS which we all know gets me as happy as a fraternity boy at a jello-wrestling match (or something not QUITE so graphic). The Roman theater is still used today (amazing! I LOVE THE ROMANS!!! rrr, taking over the globe and crushing everyone in their path... LOVE IT!) and there was a VERY extensive Gallo-Romain museum, which also had my tail wagging. And I do love when things are written in English as well. We did a lot of sitting around and relaxing, as usual, although I am now proud to say that I have played cards in a Roman theater. Jeaaaaallouuus. The rest of the day we mostly ate... I am so serious. We had the good luck to find a ben and jerrys ON FREE CONE DAY. I WAS FAR TOO EXCITED ABOUT THAT. I can't help it if I like to eat. I've had bad influences forcing me to finish all of my food. Although we all know my organs are abnormally small.

The next day, something quite tragic happened. It still hurts to talk about it, but I will try to explain. One of our roommates in the hostel was someone... scary. She was not only over 35, SHE WAS A SNORER and also someone fond of going to bed at 8:30 and demanding lights-out-everyone-quiet as well. And yet she was INCREDIBLY LOUD when she woke up in the morning. I almost threw a hissy fit (I am training at the heels of the master to write nasty-grams). So we are getting ready to roll out Wednesday morning... I open the door, and she is standing there. In my way. Blocking the path. The woman I have sworn to hate for all eternity. I politely try to slip past her, but she GRABS MY SHOULDER and says menacingly, "Ca va?" in a very low, almost growling voice. (now she really just said it normally but we have exaggerated the story so much in the succeeding days that now it's like the devil himself saying it). I weakly smile in response while I shout "I HATE YOU" in my bed (I develop hatred very quickly). However, she is not done yet. She reaches over... AND KISSES MY CHEEK. I accept it, grudgingly. BUT SHE'S NOT DONE. Still holding on to me with her claw, she exposes her cheek and pats it, making it QUITE CLEAR WHAT SHE WANTS (even though I am NOT that kind of girl). I see no recourse but to kiss her back. THE WOMAN I HAD SWORN TO HATE.

Unfortunately for her I had just rinsed my mouth so my chin was REALLY wet. she probably thinks I have an unfortunately condition. 

So, we leave Lyon and trundled on to Nice, and I will finish this at a later point in time... I'm still shuddering after my encounter with CA VAAA?!

Austria and Switzerland -- two for the price of one!

Yes that's right my little children -- I am just going to quickly (ha! as if I write anything quickly!) summarized Austria and Switzerland into one fun entry. Partly because we spent only a few days in each place, and partly because we didn't do too much, and mostly because I am EXHAUSTED right now (and it's only 5pm..... LAME). I suppose the overwhelming theme for our vacation now is complete exhaustion and laziness though. We have definitely slowed down the  frenzied going-to-every-museum-possible, being ultimate tourists pace and now spend quite a bit of time just... sitting in parks, watching the world go by (Andrew actually has been referenced a LOT on this trip. Way to get fame four years later, our unctuous tour guide of days past!)

So, we say auf widersomething to Germany and trundled down to Austria... and by trundle, I mean move veeerrrrry slowly throughout the Alps. It was a GORGEOUS trip, though, if a bit weird seeing the snow still on the ground in these towns... come on people, it's April! Get the memo! Also we most likely took the most inefficient train possible because really I could have walked faster. I don't care that we were teetering precariously on the side of the mountain. Rule #76. But, as we were talking with our sexy sexy American accents, an olderish woman starting talking to us -- a Canadian (but we didn't hold that against her) high school teacher who apparently just heard us sprenchen zie englishy (that is not correct in so many ways) and wanting to chat! Lovely. Unfortunately her husband got caught in the train doors when they alighted, but you can't have everything in life.

SO, we arrive in Innsbruck safe and sound. Innsbruck is a tiny-ish university city located at the feet of some of the biggest mountains you could ever imagine - and our hotel (which was unfortunately located UP a hill... how is it I am SO BUFF now and not when I catch pneumonia sitting on a plane?! but we made it up the hill!) overlooked it all... we were moved to another room our second night there, which had a balcony with the most AMAZING view. I cannot believe that is my life. I really need to get back to the States, if only to get a reality check! We don't do too much that first day (or really ever again on this trip... I'm warning you, we are LAZY) but we walk around the city -- typical European old town center. I am soo jaded following this trip. What I previously would have seen as adorable and amazing I now just accept as ordinary. 

The next day, we make the two hour pilgrimage to SALZBURG -- home of Mozart and also THE SOUND OF MUSIC! Yes my friends, we took the Sound of Music tour around the city. You may think that is lame, but zillions of other people have done it before us, so at least we aren't the only lame ones! And we didn't pay for it, so that makes me feel good about myself, maybe. We ate lunch in a GORGEOUS park (see facebook, absolutely amazing flowers. If only I had foliage setting). This park was also the sight of one of the songs they sang, as was a fountain we saw, some building, and the abbey up on the hill. Long story short, we spent a few hours walking around Salzburg just to see filming locations, and felt GREAT about it. We also went to Mozart's birthplace which had some interesting information about his life and times and his first violin and first composition! The inner music nerd in me squealed quite a few times in that museum. More importantly, we got some Mozartkugels (which I have yet to try but have heard are AMAZING. All I know is that they are balls of something delicious. At least I hope so because I dropped over a euro on them and we all know how stingy I am with my money). 

Next day, we go out to the Swarovski "Crystal World," which was probably the trippiest trip I have ever experienced (although it's not like I've ever tripped out before, so I guess it's a weird comparison). Basically just different exhibits using crystal -- normal stuff like statues or something made from crystal, but then there was the crystal dome, the room of dreams, the room that kept changing colors .... seriously tripping out. Luckily they had a playground that definitely was NOT made for 20 year olds to play on, but has that ever stopped us? And we saw a little kid peeing in the bushes, although we thought it was a statue until he moved. I wish Jenny hadn't commented on his tushey. Maybe he should join the coalition trying to pee all over GW...

So the next day, we spend most of the day traveling to Switzerland, home of the REALLY EXPENSIVE STUFF. Seriously, it's DISGUSTING. Even though the dollar is slightly stronger, it doesn't matter when a burger from Burger King is something like 13 fr. THIRTEEN. I CAN'T HANDLE THAT. Sticker shooock. So today we ate baguettes for lunch. Who said we aren't healthy? Once we get into Bern, we spend the afternoon walking around town -- it's the capital of Switzerland, but just a wee little thing! Einstein's house, bear pits (actually really sad. Bear. in a pit. the name says it all). More importantly, there is a marathon going on so everywhere we go we see RUNNERS. Jenny and I had our own little marathon in celebration and I WON! (she let me. she's so nice. like Paul Potts). 

Unfortunately, the runners also cut off a lot of paths to get to things... for example, we wanted to go up to the Rose Gardens, but the road was blocked... so we decide, of COURSE we should scale this hill to get to the footpath at top. And by we I mean me. And then, of course, right at the top, I slide back down the almost 90-degree incline, collecting dirt all over my body (AND I WORE MY NEW JEANS THAT DAY!) and almost slide into the marathon. It was quite exciting. If only I weren't such an idiot.

Today we took a train out to Luzern, another town in Switzerland. Unfortunately, it was overcast, so we couldn't go up into the mountains (which is apparently THE most gorgeous sight you could ever imagine), but we walked around town, scaled a tower (of course) and saw the saddest monument in the entire world, according to Mark Twain. Now we're back to Bern, about to get dinner and then a quiet night (as usual. We are LAZY and LAME and POOR) before heading to France tomorrow... only a few more days left on the trip, and most spent probably sitting on watching the world go by, before BACK TO LONDONTOWN!!!! aaah English.

GERMANY PART III. finally.

phwwwoooar apparently I had a TON to say about Germany! I bet you are leaping with joy that I have such word vomit huh? ANYONE so we leave Munich and head two hours down south to Fussen, which is a little town extremely close to the famous castle of the supposedly-mad-maybe-just-eccentric King Ludwig. These castles (and don't ask me to spell them... I MIGHT be able to do it, Neuschwanstein and Hohensomething? For some reason I can NEVER remember that one. I am so embarrassed!). Anyway, so them there castles served as the inspiration for Disney's Cinderella castle, and it is ABSOLUTELY true. The entire time I felt like I was at Disney World. Never Disney Land. EAST COAST PRIIIIDE! The Hoh one was bright sun-yellow and his childhood home and let me point out - his summer home - and still BIG. Ridiculous. Not as big as Molly's home, of course, but then again not all of us can live in the lap of luxury like the Captain can. So this house was normal-ish, actually not that opulent for royal standards... but then...

we get to Neuschwanstein. The one built by the mad one himself, the one he only lived in for 172 days before mysteriously dying having committed suicide or been MURDERED?! (so I'm watching the Thomas Crowne Affair and the most perfect music for that sentence just came up. Fort, I feel like I watched this with you but only partly? am I making that up? you know I tend to lie). And this castle was a CASTLE. Most of the rooms are incomplete, but those that ARE complete are completed dedicated to Wagner, the musician. So painted scenes from his operas, a beautiful hall for him to perform in, the works. And it was at the top of this MASSIVE hill overlooking the Alps, so COMPLETELY gorgeous of course! I, like Molly, wish I had a segway to get around everywhere, but it was SO cool to see. Even though all of our pictures look like they were photoshopped. Fake, fake, fake, just like everything in the cloisters museum. We trundled back to our room and had a quiet night (since the night before was the infamous Beer Challenge, it was much deserved!) The next day we went to AUSTRIA for the end of the week... which I shall talk about in my NEXT ENTRY!

GERMANY PART II.

PHWOAR finishing up with GERMANY! It would be so much easier if Molly weren't jabbering away on skype next to me but every time I say something mean to her she looks at me with little puppy dog eyes and I feel like I just drowned a young child and I have to take it back immediately. So, run down of the rest of Germany...

We arrive in Munich and are actually staying in a pretty shnazzy hostel... the Wombat, thankyouverymuch. We got to stay in the "Pink Wing" apparently, with a girl who didn't wear pants and a 30 year old woman who decided it was the best idea EVER to keep cheese in a locker overnight. Only slightly disgusting. And by slightly I of course mean really horrible. Sooo what did we do that first day? AH YES. We PLANNED to go to the old art museum (do NOT ask me to type out what it actually is in German... I feel like German is worse than French. Even though the French pronounce about half their letters, I feel the Germans add about twenty thousand extra unnecessary letters. Of course there is no need whatsoever for anyone to speak French, not even the French themselves. Take THAT Francophiles! SPEAK ENGLISH!). All right, so we were going to go, but turns out to get the student discount, you need your student ID... who would have thought? I tried to work my wiles my batting my eyelashes and speaking in an attractive tone, but apparently that doesn't work on 60 year old German women. Weird. I should have worn high heels and a short skirt, because some claim that is the automatic slam dunk for getting what you want. I prefer wits. 

So, instead we walk over to the park, which is HUUUUGE and home of the "surfer's wave," where guys in wetsuits (uuggh wetsuits. not fun. everyone should go to Virginia Beach, where you don't need a wetsuit and you might come across a mystery in the murky water!) "surfed" a "wave" in the river. It was a little strange, but interesting nonetheless. Also, NUDE SUNBATHERS! Again I said nude instead of naked. Meissel lesson. One of the few things I learned in art history (along with the definition of homoeroticism. Lies, I learned a lot in Meissel's class. LOVE HIM). It was so amusing, though, normally dressed people sprinkled along with people casually chilling without any clothes on... but I swear my mind is a movie, I always blur out naughty bits or they were all cleverly covered with a book or a shrubbery or a couple of pineapples or something like in Austin Powers. 

So, that was basically the first day... the next day we rush over to the museum when it opened, which was AMAZING. A ton of art from about the 15th to the 18th century, with an entire ROOM dedicated to Rubens (of course Molly's house has two rooms dedicated to Rubens, as she is a richie). Still just blowing my mind to see all this famous artwork in one place. I also find it so interesting how almost EVERYTHING from that period is religious. Lets you know where their minds where, I suppose... until we shoved everything to be secular. 

Then, the serious bit of the day... we joined a tour group to go out to Dachau, which is just outside Munich and was the first (and longest-running) concentration camp during WWII. This was a concentration camp/work camp, not a death camp (still had some of the "death equipment" though...), but it was still a very sobering experience to be there, listening to the statistics of who would be sent and why, and to see how and where and WHY they had to live there. It really makes me sick to my stomach to think of what human beings are capable of. However, it was also one of the most enlightening things I have ever done, I think, and I would strongly encourage everyone to go to one if they have the chance. I think it's so very important.... as much as you can read about something, see the pictures, watch the movies, it doesn't compare to actually being there. 

SO. Finished with Dachau, moving on to the NEXT DAY... oh gosh this is all so mushed up in the head. All this stream-of-consciousness is just so K10, I know, I'm sorry. That's why I'm never going to get a husband... bumms. So, next day is our day of WALKING. We start off going to the NEW art museum, basically picking up from where the old one left off... another amazing experience, because we had audio guides and saw work by Van Gogh, Matisse, Gaugain, and my FAVORITE OF ALL TIME - Manet painting Monet painting someone else! IT'S A PUNCH IN THE TIME SPACE CONTINUUM. I CAN'T HANDLE THAT. Look I'm cool with you being straight but I don't want to SEE IT ALL THE TIME. Everyone, please. watch dorm life. 

After a quick lunch, we join another tour group for a free walking tour around Munich, which was a toooon of fun. I really love Munich -- it reminded me a lot of DC. The whole city feel, but not as rushed as New York (especially because there aren't any skyscrapers in Munchen and they actually have a height limit like in DC...). We just took in the sights, learning about the history of the city and a fair bit about the foundation of the Third Reich... another weird thing to experience, walking down the street and seeing where Hitler gave his first public speech, where the first shoot-out occurred, where a plaque was "commemorating" the Nazis who lost their lives in said shoot-out. Interestingly, Munich doesn't have any obvious monuments to WWII. Apparently Berlin is all out there with the monuments and the apologies, but Munich is a bit shyer. Munich clearly would not be an orange in the color personality test. Too introverted. 

So, after the free walking tour, we have a few hours (climb another tower OF COURSE. Every time we do I feel tempted to shout SANCTUARY holding a gypsey woman above my head as the evil priest guy tries to kill everyone in sight, but then I remember that a) I'm not a hunchback b) I'm not at Notre Dame and c) Jenny won't let me hold her over my head). That night, we participate in a BEER CHALLENGE around Munich, where a tour guide takes a group around to four different beer halls, teaches us beer songs and traditions, and provides us with some free beer, of course! sounds hokey but it was actually WAY too much fun. That's about all my lawyer has advised me to say, but I will say we have made a friend for life in Joel. Oh, Joel. He instantly won our hearts when we were calling for Molly as we usually do, in a British accent (MOLLLL-LAAY.. I may have stolen that from someone else).... and he joins in and then says "You sound like you're from London!" If you don't get it, you don't deserve to. If you do, welcome to the JOEL CLUB.

so, MUNICH IS OVER. The next day we went to Fussen.... oh GOD this is lengthy. I can't believe we've done SO MUCH. Fussen might be its own (short) entry later. calm down children. go play with your toy trucks in the meantime.

GERMANY part I.

Guten taaag (possibly. it's actually amazingish, we have all been picking up Germans like pros... I mean I already knew how to say 'I am a butterfly' in German, but I know how to say "ascending into heaven" - himmelfahrt. hahahaha. or it means something like that. I'm not actually sure. I know that himmel means heaven and all the portraits that have Jesus going into heaven say Christo Himmelfahrt, so I'm assuming. but you know what assuming does.)

SO. We're in Germany. We have left the Netherlands, after a painful train ride... not physically painful, but we wanted to leave at 10:30 except that train died or something and we had to wait until TWELVE THIRTY. But I got a milkshake from Burger King in the train station except the cashier was all snotty like, "sure you don't want a coke? Now I gotta get the cookies all up in there and they have me pressing all these buttons and I don't even know what I'm doing... nah you can have a coke." it was a little weird.

man, I am all over the place. We chug a chug into Frankfurt for the night, to use as a type of pitstop before heading on the ROMANTIC ROAD! so cute. This entire time in Germany has been a bit of an eye-opener, I suppose. Everything I know about Germany is heavily weighted by the Second World War and everything associated with it. I never considered the destruction that hit Germany from Allied bombing, and things from their perspective I suppose. but here we are in Frankfurt, which was almost completely destroyed by the bombing, so all the buildings are modern skyscrapers. It's just strange to think about it from the German perspective. And yet, Frankfurt wasn't as bad as I supposed. We really just got dinner before relaxing in the hotel (!) room, but we did meet someone from Boston who followed his dream to scoop ice cream all the way to Frankfurt. I seriously have ice cream WAY more in Europe than I do in the states. It's amazing and a little disgusting.

The next day we head down to Wurzburg, which is a town on the Romantic Road that was also heavily destroyed during WWII, to the point that it was almost not rebuilt... it was only after a protest from the citizens (the few who were left) that the town was rebuilt. And it was so adorable! We stayed in a REALLY cute pension with an adorable family running it, and we had our own room, and bonus it was right across from the train station - excellent for lazy bums such as ourselves. We scamper over to the Residenz, a GORGEOUS palace to the east of the city, where the princebishop lived. Blah blah history, gorgeous building -- the point is Molly thought the chandeliers were TACKY. Can you believe that? RU. Also more importantly, there was an amazing fresco from the 1700s (possibly) that had all the continents represented.. and apparently America is full of Native Americans, crocodiles, and not much else.

After the Residenz, we head over to the FORTRESS, clearly up on the hill... although we may have unfortunately taken the most roundabout way up the hill, we got to burn some cals, build up our muscle strength, and enjoy gorgeous views of the surrounding vineyards and countryside as we rested about twenty times going up. all worth it at the top though. And we're continuing with our goal to try to climb as many towers/high up things as possible... I am going to be SVELTE! especially as today I officially spent less than ten euro on all three meals. thank you so much. I know I am amazing. Molly is currently CLEANSING, btdubs. In case you cared. today she had an apple, banana, salad, and trout. Oh and some potatoes. I'm so glad I just told you that. 

the next day, we spend a leisurely morning walking around town, taking an Irish bath of course (which consisted of us going to the perfume aisle of the department store and sampling all the different perfumes, so we didn't have to take an ACTUAL shower), and applying makeup. You have not lived until you have seen Molly's beautiful eye makeup -- blue, purple, green, and orange. Only on one eye. And she kept it on the ENTIRE day, which was especially funny when we met new friends in the next train station and she had to explain why she looked like a crackwhore. 

We then take three (wait... two, sorry) trains to get to ROTHENBURG, the cutest little town this side of the Mississippi. In the Thirty Years War, it was occupied and it never really recovered... it was forgotten for 250 years, then turned into a tourist destination. There aren't ANY new buildings in the city walls, and everything is GEARED towards tourists. I haven't seen that many Americans in one place since America. Regardless, still fun. Especially because in the train station we met a few American students staying in our hostel and became BFFNs with them for the next day.... and of course they thought we were hySTERICAL, which we appreciate. 

Most of the first day, we just wandered around the cobblestone streets, popping into the CHRISTMAS VILLAGE ... this place is Whoville. Largest Christmas shop anywhere in the WORLD (possibly). I almost expect Cindy Lou Who to come along singing "Where are you Chrriiiistmas" while a hairy green man who can contort his face would pop around the corner stealing all the presents. Anyway, blah blah, we walk around, and take a night tour of the city with a man with a lantern and an axe. I will follow ANYONE dressed like that. Next day, more sightseeing, climbing towers, walking on the city wall, sleeping in the park for a while... the usuals. Isn't it fun how easily I run out of steam with these things?

ANYWAY, Next we're moving on to Munich, but I'll write that one out at the end... in the middle of my Munchen adventure now!