Completely Full of Nonsense

There's really not much to say except I feel it is my obligation to update with stories from this weekend, because we had some doozies. 

Let's kick it off with Friday night. Mol-E, Jenny and myself, as the epitome of cool, decided to bunk down in Borders, in order to conduct top-secret Europe research without buying the guides. After sitting in the upstairs cafe for a while, we decide it is time to leave and proceed to bundle up for the frigid London air. At this point, a man of unknown nationality (possibly French, maybe Italian, definitely not American or English) comes cantering - there is really no other way to describe it - up to Jenny. 

"Excuse me, I was just reading this book [he has props] and it said that you and I would be going on a picnic this weekend."

Obviously Jenny, who is usually cool as Luke, was a bit thrown off by this proclamation of affection and proceeds to sputter out something along the lines of "....oh really?"

I myself start laughing hysterically and pull out my cell phone to start Ace Gang notification. This was too good to keep to myself. 

"Yes, it would be so romantic! It would be romantic like that movie, American Pie."

I can no longer hold it in. I'm laughing at loud, laughing AT him (poor guy) and comment, "Yes, American Pie is the epitome of romance movies, after all."

Poor foreigner then realizes his mistake and quickly tries to rectify it: "Oh no, I meant, what is that, Romeo and Shakespeare." 

(my favorite book now). 

"And you could cook for me! So nice!"

There is literally no escape. Jenny tries to say she cannot cook, but he mentions that they could go CYCLING as well! There were just too many options. 

Finally, she lets him off gently with an "I don't think so" and clever Molly says, "and we're not here that long anyway" (ZING LIE!!!). I'm still laughing too hard to be any help. 

The poor guy, who has been christened Pierre, shuffles off after a dejected "So it's a no?" 

And we go laughing off into the sunset. 

Let's move to the next day, Saturday. A group of us are going to see Spring Awakening (which, by the by, was absolutely amazing and I am going to go see it again in TWO WEEKS... and this time I have on-stage tickets. My plan is that Melchior Gabor will fall in love with me and I will be his devastatingly gorgeous American girlfriend. First step after we are together: learn his actual name. Second step: if that is not possible, change my name to Zsa Zsa). Besides a strange man reassuring Annie that his bum is really quite lovely, we were standing in the tube station, minding our own business, when someone I can only describe as a cracked-out girl approaches us. Her mouth is upturned into an almost Joker smirk, one eye is closed, and she shuffles behind Jenny (again, poor jweb) and says in a smoker, Kay Prince voice, "Don't worry about it." 

We immediately stare at each other... don't worry about what? Jenny mumbles a response as this strange, strange specimen of a girl continues to stand there. We then later saw her literally stumble off the tube, so all's well that ends well.

this was also the same tube station where, as we are standing in a circle chatting, two males split to walk around the circle and bend down in unison as they pass us, fluffing my skirt a little bit. It was nice. 

And finally, last night we were coming back from Strand and, because I am conscious of this failing economy, stocked up on those groceries that I found at a reduced price. So I'm holding three boxes of cereal on the bus, about to debus when the back doors unexpectedly open, folding back on my purchases and CRUSHING one of my precious, 80p boxes of FROSTIES! I immediately panic and start tugging like my child is stuck behind those doors, as Jenny is screaming at me to leave it behind and get off the bus. I finally succeed it yanking it free, proclaiming that I will never leave any man behind, and certainly not a man that cost only 80p, when the bus doors close on my torso. 

According to Jenny, I looked like a linebacker as I had the mangled box cradled to my chest and charged off the bus, shoving the doors open with my body. She also said that she would have helped me if it had been a puppy stuck back there, but apparently cereal isn't as precious as a puppy.

And that was my weird, hilarious weekend. It's a bit of a bleary day here, cold and rainy, but I'm absolutely startled at how quickly time has flown. It's already the second week of FEBRUARY! Luckily in a week I'll be flying down to sunnnnnnnnny Barcelona... mmmm please don't rain that week.